We had our discipleship meeting on Monday night 3/15/10, a very intresting night to say the least. First, I must say that Christ was certainly there, He was in, sitting next too, and talking and being in Sr. Sheila that night. I saw Him in her, to testify to this, is a great grace from God, and I want to thank God, Jesus, and Sr. Sheila for teaching me by her actions that night. It sure is funny how the Holy Spirit works in us personally and when we gather in community isn't it. We were talking about the readings for Sunday 3/21/10. We started with Phillipians 3:7-16, then proceeded to John 8:1-20. This is where I would like to begin.
We began to ponder as a group the story of the Woman caught in Adultry, which is the gospel for Sunday. We as a group really had gone very deep into this teaching of Jesus, and it was mentioned that Jesus was the only sinless person in the whole scene, and Jesus did not do much to rebuke the Pharisees and men that wanted to persecute the adultress. He stood there in silence, asked a question, then bent down and wrote on the ground. No other verbal words were used or needed. One by one, the men whom were determined to stone the lady, couldn't and walked away. Jesus had called their bluff out, called them out and they balked, without Jesus accusing or defending anyone or anything. It was such a strong, bold, noble and respectful response to such hardened hearts. I witnessed that same strong, bold, noble and respectful responsiveness in Sr. Sheila that night. She really did not need alot of words or actions because she stood IN CHRIST. And I personally wanted to say Thank You to her, for teaching/showing us, in her actions, how to take on or put on Christ in the midst of attack. This is one of those life teaching moments we all have, wether we testify to it, witness it, or partake in. Sometimes we witness heroism in Christ, and sometimes we may not see such compassion. That night, she was the most heroic person in that room, and yes, that is just my humble opinion. For me, her actions that night, while under attack is something that I strive to be like, I typically will jump right into a defensive or justified attitude, and take it personally. From an outsider looking in, it did not seem to bother her personally, I am not saying it wasn't on the inside, but her oustside was secure in the refuge of Christ, and she needn't do anything. She took on the attacks with her armor of God, in prayer and silence. A real blessing to see and be witness too.
I proceeded to read the next chapter that followed the adultress, which is the Light of the World, which in my humble opinion, really is the marrow behind the scene of the adultress woman. What I wanted to elaborate on is this. In Phillipians, Paul reminds us to " Forgetting what lies behind and straining foward to what lies ahead." I continued to read on in the John's gospel, and then I came across the passage that Jesus had spoke and he said, " Even if I do testify on my own behalf, my testimony can be verified because I know where I came from and where I am going."
What struck me was the difference in living in sin, and living not of this world. To me living in sin, as every human does, is what Paul is referring to. Because living in sin, we must choose Jesus. We choose Jesus by "forgetting what lies behind and straining toward to what lies ahead." Because nobody has any idea what is in store for us or where we are going in this life, only God knows what His will is, that's why Jesus was the only human being made, to know where He is from and where He is going, He is God made flesh.
We live in the past, present and future, maybe that is why it is such a strain to strive toward what lies ahead." we are striving toward something that is bigger than the sinful nature of ourselves and bigger than the sinful nature of the world. What is the only person, place or thing that is bigger that the sinful nature of ourselves and of the world? Jesus Christ. Why is that? He is perfectly spotless/blameless in his full humanity and his full divinity.
Jesus is the only one in the whole wide world who honestly knew, when he walked this earth, that "even if I do testify on my own behalf, my testimony can be verified, BECAUSE, I know where I came from and where I am going." This is something no other human being can ever say or own, because we just don't know fully, we never knew fully, and we never will fully because we just can't. Our minds, hearts and beings can not comprehend or experience the type of Love God and Jesus share, such an unconditional, love such as that. That is what Jesus is standing on, and takes ownership of, because He is that love that goes beyond all conditions, judgements, darkness and sinfulness, in the flesh and death on a cross. St. Paul, saw this, he lived that. That may be why he accepts and urges us to accept everything as a loss, yet strives toward THAT perfection, Christ Jesus. Because of our own sinfulness we will constantly have to "let go" and "strain toward to what lies ahead." And Jesus is so worth that.
So in all of the time of letting of, the shaking up of our comfort zones and in dealing with our own hardness of hearts and all of the crosses we carry in our lives, yet it is precisely that, our crosses in life is our pathway to heaven, I find that kinda relieving and re-itereating of the fact that nothing is in vain to God, and that's why Love Never Fails. Jesus' cross is the bridge we have to get us to heaven. Fr. stated that is why we need to embrace our sufferings just as Jesus obediently did on that cross. By dying to ourselves, it reminded me of what Fr. Paul always says about that dying and rising that we need to do each day, and in doing that we stay close to Christ.
Trying to form new habits, tearing down the old ones, so we with Christ can build up in Christ. How we deal and handle things and how people deal and handle us.The cross is hard to take because we need and must let go of ourselves in this life and surrender it all to Christ, which is not an easy thing to do and even harder to keep doing and maintaining, specifically in living as sinfully human. We must believe in our Faith and in the faithfulness of the Holy Trinity.
By the mercy and graces that flow from the heart of the Lord, which was won for us by his passion and death on that cross. That is what gets us through the good times and the bad times, there being the bipolar and sinfully vulnerable worlds in our very own minds and hearts of our person, the cross is the way to recovery, rehabilitating, returning, getting back up to the Lord. Each and every day, every moment, every instance, every experience, for all generations we return back to the Lord our God. That sure is a lot of search and rescue that takes place, Thank God that Jesus loves to give it.
The passion and death of our Christ, is what or when he,I humbly feel took alot of our human, personal, emotional crosses onto himself, even prior to his actual death on the cross. All of the mercies and graces and blessings that Our Lord Jesus obtained for us in his sorrowful passion and death is an area I really need to delve into more spiritually and personally. Amen.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Friday, January 15, 2010
How are we to see the rainbows in our storms of life???????
These past two weeks have been pretty moving for me, in all realms of my little messy mess of me :) But as I was looking up into the sky, I was able to see the most beautiful rainbows and silver linings, in the big stormy and gray skies. It was so crazy, from windy rains and tornado watches in Riverside, California mind you. Then just a few hours later, we see glimpses of blue skies and the light peering through, just after or in between the stormyness. It's funny because when we see these rainbows and silver linings, the darker/grayer the clouds in the backdrop, the brighter the sun and the more vibrant the rainbow against the clouds. Gray clouds as the backdrop to seeing this beautiful gift of God, how ironic is that.
The Gray Clouds ahead of us/around us, metaphorically to me, are the stormy days, the days we take some "hits". When we get fired and tested, pruned and plucked. The grayness is our natures, existence in sin, our realities, and in our lives. Since we are in sin, the grayness could also be our trials/tribulations, our crosses we bear, the ones we don't want to bear, and the crosses that still need to be born by us, this is our weaknesses, our conditions, internally and externally.
Yet as the days go by, the storms roll in and they roll out, but to be able to know that God is there, and to learn to trust in that over time, thereby strenghening our Faith. Yes, it will get tested, that is how we get stronger. "We are made strong by the difficulties we face and not evade" Anonymous.
By facing our difficulties, we can take those lessons and be grateful for the opportunity of growth for our person, and letting Jesus transform our present habits into better ones, which will help us deal and cope better with people and situations that used to get the best of us before. The harder thing, is to apply it to our lives and areas that need re-adjusting. By the re-adjustment in Christ, He can change the grayness in our inner storms, by bringing in more light (Jesus), so we don't stay stuck in our own grayness, we can start clearing the skies in ourselves. With courage and perserverence in the learning and the lessons, we will see what works and what doesn't in ourselves and with others. Keep the good, dump the bad or at least try to.
When we are in the thick of the storm, on earth and in mankind, to be able to see the joy in the sorrow, to see the light in the dark, to hear, to feel, to go to the light in the dark. This joy, this light that we sense somehow in our beings, to be able to sense or feel God's love and to take refuge in God's love is a grace God gives freely, we just have to take it. When God's will is being done in our lives, and it doesn't feel too good, typically a pretty stormy time in our lives, this is time our Faith is made stronger and stronger in our Lord Jesus Christ, that IS God made Flesh. We must remember that is what Jesus did for us by His Passion, Death and Resurrection. The sorrow passed and Glory now reigns forever more, death has been destroyed by the Light. This reminds me of a quote I just came across, it is by Fr. Timothy Vakoc, US Army Chaplain, "The safest place for me to be is in the center of God's will, and if that is in the line of fire, that's where I'll be"
To be able to see the rainbow in our personal storms, and know "this too shall pass", and when it does, we will be even closer to our Lord Jesus Christ, the "sunnier days" to be had in our Lord Jesus. When the storms are around us and on the verge of clearing it away and the light is ahead of us, we can see it in the silver lining of the clouds. The light right behind the gray clouds, makes the clouds glow, it surrounds every iota of periphery, the light surrounds the grayness.
How are we to see the rainbow in our storm? I feel we can try to see the brighter side of the situation, to appreciate truly HOW AMAZINGLY MYSTERIOUS is our God's will in this world, but never question its perfection, there is no need to question because it is of God, and God is the only one Good, Jesus said that Himself in the Bible. Being able to see it, (rainbows or silver linings), by seeing the good in any bad situation, the brighter side, or taking "the high road" in any given situation usually one that you may not want to take the higher road, those situations of some kind of conflict or disagreement. Taking the higher road or the brighter side is definately a good test of humilty, and where we stand on that scale at that time, to be able to let go of our pride, at let things happen as they may. Thereby, be able to stand firm on the Rock of Refuge in Christ Jesus, so when the storms hit, we shall not be moved from Him.
T
The Gray Clouds ahead of us/around us, metaphorically to me, are the stormy days, the days we take some "hits". When we get fired and tested, pruned and plucked. The grayness is our natures, existence in sin, our realities, and in our lives. Since we are in sin, the grayness could also be our trials/tribulations, our crosses we bear, the ones we don't want to bear, and the crosses that still need to be born by us, this is our weaknesses, our conditions, internally and externally.
Yet as the days go by, the storms roll in and they roll out, but to be able to know that God is there, and to learn to trust in that over time, thereby strenghening our Faith. Yes, it will get tested, that is how we get stronger. "We are made strong by the difficulties we face and not evade" Anonymous.
By facing our difficulties, we can take those lessons and be grateful for the opportunity of growth for our person, and letting Jesus transform our present habits into better ones, which will help us deal and cope better with people and situations that used to get the best of us before. The harder thing, is to apply it to our lives and areas that need re-adjusting. By the re-adjustment in Christ, He can change the grayness in our inner storms, by bringing in more light (Jesus), so we don't stay stuck in our own grayness, we can start clearing the skies in ourselves. With courage and perserverence in the learning and the lessons, we will see what works and what doesn't in ourselves and with others. Keep the good, dump the bad or at least try to.
When we are in the thick of the storm, on earth and in mankind, to be able to see the joy in the sorrow, to see the light in the dark, to hear, to feel, to go to the light in the dark. This joy, this light that we sense somehow in our beings, to be able to sense or feel God's love and to take refuge in God's love is a grace God gives freely, we just have to take it. When God's will is being done in our lives, and it doesn't feel too good, typically a pretty stormy time in our lives, this is time our Faith is made stronger and stronger in our Lord Jesus Christ, that IS God made Flesh. We must remember that is what Jesus did for us by His Passion, Death and Resurrection. The sorrow passed and Glory now reigns forever more, death has been destroyed by the Light. This reminds me of a quote I just came across, it is by Fr. Timothy Vakoc, US Army Chaplain, "The safest place for me to be is in the center of God's will, and if that is in the line of fire, that's where I'll be"
To be able to see the rainbow in our personal storms, and know "this too shall pass", and when it does, we will be even closer to our Lord Jesus Christ, the "sunnier days" to be had in our Lord Jesus. When the storms are around us and on the verge of clearing it away and the light is ahead of us, we can see it in the silver lining of the clouds. The light right behind the gray clouds, makes the clouds glow, it surrounds every iota of periphery, the light surrounds the grayness.
How are we to see the rainbow in our storm? I feel we can try to see the brighter side of the situation, to appreciate truly HOW AMAZINGLY MYSTERIOUS is our God's will in this world, but never question its perfection, there is no need to question because it is of God, and God is the only one Good, Jesus said that Himself in the Bible. Being able to see it, (rainbows or silver linings), by seeing the good in any bad situation, the brighter side, or taking "the high road" in any given situation usually one that you may not want to take the higher road, those situations of some kind of conflict or disagreement. Taking the higher road or the brighter side is definately a good test of humilty, and where we stand on that scale at that time, to be able to let go of our pride, at let things happen as they may. Thereby, be able to stand firm on the Rock of Refuge in Christ Jesus, so when the storms hit, we shall not be moved from Him.
To keep the sun to our backs for guidance and protection for God's will to be done in us and in the world, to keep the sun in front of us, so we can see the rays of light, of hope, of beauty that is to be had in God's will for each one of us, no matter what the day/night may bring. To be able to see, but more importantly, APPRECIATE THE GLIMPSES of goodness, faithfulness, trustworthiness of our God in our lives, everyday all the time, in the storms of life and in its rainbows. Why? because God's will is always unfolding and being fulfilled in the ways of God, through His Son and in the Holy Spirit, in the vastness of the universe and IN HIS PEOPLE, US.
God Bless You!!!T
Monday, September 7, 2009
My happy weekend at SCRC 2009
Good evening everybody,
I had one of the most happiest weekends in a long time. I was at the SCRC convention at Anaheim convention center, and I am so thankful for being able to partake in such a happy and Christ centered experience. Why? Because Happy the people whose God is the Lord!!. I was able to sit in on a series of talks given by a variety of religious and laity, which was such a blessing for me, truly.
The conference started on Friday, and I had heard several talks this weekend, followed by a mass in the convention center. The first talk I heard was titled, "Cheerfulness in the Lives of the Saints" given by Fr. Andrew Apostoli, whom is from New York. He was very good and very funny. He quoted from the bible, that "God loves a cheerful giver", and he had said that our joy/happiness imposes on our anger, moodiness, tempers and tantrums. By learning to give cheerfully, this will block our resentments and all of the above things just mentioned. He was also very bold in saying that "Joy is the surest sign of the Holy Spirit is in our soul. The enemy CAN NOT MIMIC JOY." When he said that, it made me feel so happy insided because it makes joy such a thing to aspire towards because it is only of God, through His son, Jesus. Only Jesus brings joy to us, because we know He is with us, no matter what, He is and always will be our source/fount of joy for all time. Which I don't know about all of you, but yes, I need to impose a little more joy to counteract my natural and quick responses of anger, moodiness, temper, with a few tantrums here and there...lol...
Fr. Andrew gave ways in which we can nuture and practice antidotes of joy to combat bad moods. I was not able to get all of them down on paper, but here are a few. The first is a sense of humor. I find this to be one of the most important of antidotes, just under Jesus of course. But a sense of humor is something we all have and all can improve on, especially to ourselves. I find it very theraputic to laught at yourself, no it's not easy to do sometimes, but so worth it, because the more we do laugh at ourselves the easier it becomes, and the funnier it is over time. I am referring to point that in retrospect, everything is 20/20, when time has passed we see how we have uselessly overreacted and how silly we really were, even though we did not think so at the time it was happening.
Fr. Andrew has said that cheerfulness/joyfullness is an infusion of the Holy Spirit, this infusion is how we can learn to be joyful in God. He stated "true sancticty makes you more human, and as we grow closer in God, He draws out our humanity." He specified this is something that does not happen over night, it's how we end up, that we must grow in this sanctity/holiness, so that's a joyful thought, there is hope for us all.
The second suggestion was to smile. The simple gesture of a smile, our "homework" for the day was that we had to smile to 5 people that we did not know. I loved that assignment, I even added a wave and a hello to my smile to the people I didn't know. Fr. Andrew said that smiling teaches us to take it easy and it is so much easier to do than frowning. And smiling is contagious, and smiling teaches us to take it easy, not to take ourselves to seriously. Fr. Andrew had said so much more, this is all I was able to get down on paper for this session.
The third session was titled " What does it mean to be happy in the Lord?" given by Fr. Andrew Apostoli, I had heard him earlier in the morning, so I was excited about this class. Fr. Andrew opened up by sharing the differences between pleasure and joy. He stated that pleasure is never filled, and it is temporary because we will still feel empty at the end. Joy is rooted in the soul, so it is all fullfilling. The cool thing about joy is that, it is rooted in the soul, but then overflows into our whole being, probably as we get older and older,by the grace and love of God. So Fr. asked the question, how can we remain in this joy? Talk about "cross" in life, especially considering that we are our own worst enemies at times. How crazy is that? I guess if it is a joyful crazy, then at least we can laugh about it later.
Fr. Andrew also gave us a list of what the enemies of joy, they are selfishness, escape, worry/fear, and self pity.
The first being selfishness, by being selfish we are doomed to be unhappy. We are unhappy because we turn to ourselves to make us happy which then will lead us to be let down, because only God and keep us up from ourselves. Eventually we will realize that we need to empty, by being humbled in humility, a hard cross for us to take but so necessary, why? So we can grow into a selfless love of Jesus, hence we tap into the fount of joy in Him instead of routinely tapping into ourselves which only leads to disappointment. We must forget ourselves, see the broader picture and trust in that. Then we can give of ourselves and share and play nicely with others.
While carrying our crosses, in our trials, in our sadness, we can not turn to ourselves and think we can make it better. We must turn to Christ, this is the only way we can, we can little by little, break down our selfishness and become selfless. We then can learn and to trust in our Lord, and we will attain joy and that inner peace that is so vital/crucial in our growth in the Lord. The devil likes to take away our joy, because then, we become consumed by our crosses and we will start to find escapes that fill our pleasures but will still leave us empty, stuck or addicted to things not of God. The devil loves to play on this in us, because in "escaping" we are usually either Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, the "HALT" that is taught in AA. Fr. stated when we are "halted" we are or end up being stuck and sad, which can be a real battle if we do not have our Lord to save us. The gentleness of joy that Jesus gives, will draw us out of our depression or repression of all of our sins and crosses, we just have to be open and to trust in Him by continually going to Him all of the time, He will love us through it all.
The final thing Fr. Andrew mentioned that is an enemy to joy is worry/fear. How things are going to turn out, is pretty much useless. Why? because we have no control to what has happened, what is happening or what will happen. Trust is the antidote to battle worry and fear, to trust in the strong arm of God no matter what. He quoted Padre Pio as he would always say, " Pray, Trust and Don't Worry". I thought of the song, "Don't worry, Be Happy" I love that song. Fr. Andrew, mentioned that when we worry, it is for nothing, because we have control over the situation, but we can control how we respond to things that we don't know how they will turn out. Our response should be JESUS CHRIST, that is our only response/reaction we should take, He will not let us down.
Self pity is another enemy of joy. Feeling sorry for ourselves and keeping the wounds fresh. By feeling sorry for ourselves, we tend to keep our hurtness alive, by re-living it, by re-playing it in our minds. We reherse all of the injustices over and over, its a vicious cycle that has no end because it is rooted in ourselves and not in Christ. Once we start to see this cycle and try to break it, we break into the Love and the tender joy of Jesus. This in itself, will bring us to grips with the situation, which then can lead to a permante cancellation to all of the "pity parties" we used to love to throw for ourselves. The party becomes a feast, a feast and banquet we can partake in every time we go to mass, and receive our Lord in body and blood. By partaking in the feast, that is the fuel we need to keep cancelling the "pity party" The Eucharist is the only place where unconditional love is tangible and present for us to commune with, no matter where we are in our lives, Jesus will see us through.
Saturday morning, I heard a great talk given by Sr. Nancy Kellar on the Beatitudes. She said the Beatitudes is God's plan for happiness, they are to stir up our expectance in the power of the Spirit and all of the great plans God has for us. We always need to want, to desire, to long for more in Christ. In reflection of this talk, a question came to my mind in, how do we find our joy in the Beatitudes?
1. Poor in Spirit: Sr. says this is a call to acknowledge our need of God and to recognize our need of God. For me, as I pondered, I found some joy in the fact that I will not need anything else but God. No matter how it gets broken down, it ALWAYS goes right back to The Infinite One. It sounds or reads so simple. Our God is a simple God in infinite ways. We are the ones that complicate or confuse His simplicites, no worries though because He will always Love us back to Him. After all of the reasoning, justifications, mistakes all of this stuff that happens on earth, I will always and forever need the Almighty God that is just the way it is. I am so glad He is infinite because human are just too temporal.
She used the analogy of opening our hands, letting the seeds fall to the ground, so He can heal us, and then we can be filled. I wonder if that the "opening of the hands" is our acknowledging it is out of our hands in the first place (whatever the situation may be), the "letting the seeds fall as they may" is the acceptance that is vital to the "emptying process", and the "so He can heal us" is the restoration in Christ, in the recovery of Love for Love, unconditional in the heart of God.
2. Mourn: to mourn our losses, our disappointment, our dissatisfactions, our difficulties in relationships. This helps us learn to accept forgiveness by crying our to God in our losses, to find Him in it and to hold onto to Him while we are there with it. Joy is the end result of the process, after a long, hard, sorrowful and mournful journey. The joy/acceptance on this type of loss, to me naievely is like all of these things seen or passed by on the road to recovery, like a "recovery road trip". Like the rest stops, gas stations, the scenic view points, like the cool colors of the sky at sunrise of the dry desert followed by the heat of high noon, to the plush green mountain sides, to the majestic colors in the sky of sunset at the beach, the u-turns we should have taken miles back but didn't. But in the stops the rest that can be had, the fuel for the empty tank, the vistas showing us really how small we really are, all of these things, the little things, that are there on the way to where we need to go. The destination is healing/ acceptance/freedom/joy. Now this journey is very customized to each person in regards to timing, but in the mercy, grace and love of God, the Father does loves us right back to his big heart, then we are joyfully free.
3. Meekness: This is God's will for us, to find our happiness and peace in God. Embracing God even when God's will is hard to go through. To embrace where God wants us to be, not where we want to be. To take repeated comfort in the fact we do not know it all because its just too much for any of us to know. People try to figure it out, whatever it is, and well for me its easier to leave all of that stuff up to the "Big Guy", He does take care of everything. So in the timing of it all, not knowing why things happen, we can find some joy in that by being thankful, very thankful that things have happened the way it has, because that is exactly how God wanted it, the Father always knows best, He always knows what is best for His people. If it would have been left up to us, we would have just made a huge mess of everything.
The timing of it all, the saying " we are all supposed to be right were we are " referring to the "master plan" or God's will, yet sometimes the timing really sucks, or so we ignorantly think and feel. But God's timing is always perfect, it just takes time for us to accept God's timing. God's perfect and unconditonal Love, THIS LOVE, is what rescues us , rehabilitates us, picks us up, sees us through all of those sucky days we think we have, just like how God did to our ancestors of the past, He sees us right back to Love, that crazy little thing called Love. We get by, day by day, one day at a time, one hour at a time, 15 minutes at a time. We may or may not see the depth, the extent, the extremity, the sensitivity, the whole picture at the time, but we keep trying, we keep moving toward Him, toward God, beat up and all. The mysteries of Love is truly a righteous and precious thing.
4. Hunger and Thirst for what is right: Repairing our relationships in community, forgiving one another for the sake of Love. By listening to one another more. Listening leads to compassion which then deepens our relationships across the board. Listening helps us meet people where they are at in their lives, and by helping them out wherever they are, helping them to Jesus, the way, the truth and the light. In Him, is where our strength is, in our faith in God, and we want all of our family in Christ to know the Lord. Our family being our human family, whom Christ died for on that cross wether they acknowledge it or not, Jesus loves them too. Taking things to heart, meaning things from the heart. Listening to the "interventions" how we learn from each other and to see the errors of our ways, be o.k with that, and from the heart try to change, again much easier said than done, hence the power and Love of God.
5. Merciful: Mercy received as we come in our weakness and sinfulness. We have unfathomable mercy in the cross and in the heart of our Lord Jesus. The cross is our unfathomable source of mercy, there is no shock value with God, His Love and mercy is what we need to get over the shock of life and how we deal with all of this shock treatment, that we inflict or incur in this life of ours.
6.Pure of heart: How God purifies us, the purification process. Purification is how God want to meet us, we can become bitter or better by how we embrace our purifications that come our way, how we embrace all of the peaks and valleys we experience in this life of ours. We need the ups and downs to experience and to learn from as we get older and more seasoned in life. Day in and day out. All of the good and bad days we have. All of the little things that helps us get through the day, all that is of God. To be able to see some of those things everyday, we can get glimpses of joy.
7. Peacemakers: My favorite one as a little girl, I remember wanting to be a child of God, I remember thinking that would be so cool, so I tried to be a peacemaker. It was hard then and still hard now, but with practice it does become easier. And I must admit, I had a great example of peacemaking in my dad, Harry Makahanohano Kaululaau. My dad was all about keeping the peace, not just in the house or between the kids or between him and my mom, but by everything. At first it used to look like people would take advantage of him because he was so easy going, but you know it never seemed to bother him, because there was peace, and that made him happy, which then made everything else seem so trivial. I still to this day aspire to be the peacemaking soul that man is, I just really thank God that he gave me such an incredible and humble father that I have in my dad. Thank you so much my Lord.
8. Suffer persecution for our Lord: Talk about examples and inspirations to live by, I will be forever grateful and humbled for all of the saints, angels, and religious that have lived and given their lives to the Lord our God for the salvation of souls. To know that we have Mother Church, The bible, The carrying of crosses, The living Body of Christ, from generation to generation. Each on of us, his people. How happy we should feel to have been with a family so deep in faith, so rich in the depth of life after death as we all have in my Lord Christ Jesus will all of his angels and saints in Heaven. To know, believe we are on in the Glorious and victorious Love of our God. Glory be to the Father, to the Son and to the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Lastly, what gave me personally the greatest joy of the whole conference, besides My Lord of course was all of the people I was able to share with. I went with my friend Demetria, then we hooked up with Bob, which then dialed us in with Alex, Yolanda and Lucy. It was too cool to how our Lord just put it all together, don't get me wrong everybody we met or saw there was awesome, it was just good to fellowship in an environment such as this, and by far, this was the best SCRC a girl like myself could have hoped for. So I just want to say a big Thank you to Demetria, Bob, Alex, Yolanda and Lucy for spending the weekend with me. Thanks guys. Thank you Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Amen.
I had one of the most happiest weekends in a long time. I was at the SCRC convention at Anaheim convention center, and I am so thankful for being able to partake in such a happy and Christ centered experience. Why? Because Happy the people whose God is the Lord!!. I was able to sit in on a series of talks given by a variety of religious and laity, which was such a blessing for me, truly.
The conference started on Friday, and I had heard several talks this weekend, followed by a mass in the convention center. The first talk I heard was titled, "Cheerfulness in the Lives of the Saints" given by Fr. Andrew Apostoli, whom is from New York. He was very good and very funny. He quoted from the bible, that "God loves a cheerful giver", and he had said that our joy/happiness imposes on our anger, moodiness, tempers and tantrums. By learning to give cheerfully, this will block our resentments and all of the above things just mentioned. He was also very bold in saying that "Joy is the surest sign of the Holy Spirit is in our soul. The enemy CAN NOT MIMIC JOY." When he said that, it made me feel so happy insided because it makes joy such a thing to aspire towards because it is only of God, through His son, Jesus. Only Jesus brings joy to us, because we know He is with us, no matter what, He is and always will be our source/fount of joy for all time. Which I don't know about all of you, but yes, I need to impose a little more joy to counteract my natural and quick responses of anger, moodiness, temper, with a few tantrums here and there...lol...
Fr. Andrew gave ways in which we can nuture and practice antidotes of joy to combat bad moods. I was not able to get all of them down on paper, but here are a few. The first is a sense of humor. I find this to be one of the most important of antidotes, just under Jesus of course. But a sense of humor is something we all have and all can improve on, especially to ourselves. I find it very theraputic to laught at yourself, no it's not easy to do sometimes, but so worth it, because the more we do laugh at ourselves the easier it becomes, and the funnier it is over time. I am referring to point that in retrospect, everything is 20/20, when time has passed we see how we have uselessly overreacted and how silly we really were, even though we did not think so at the time it was happening.
Fr. Andrew has said that cheerfulness/joyfullness is an infusion of the Holy Spirit, this infusion is how we can learn to be joyful in God. He stated "true sancticty makes you more human, and as we grow closer in God, He draws out our humanity." He specified this is something that does not happen over night, it's how we end up, that we must grow in this sanctity/holiness, so that's a joyful thought, there is hope for us all.
The second suggestion was to smile. The simple gesture of a smile, our "homework" for the day was that we had to smile to 5 people that we did not know. I loved that assignment, I even added a wave and a hello to my smile to the people I didn't know. Fr. Andrew said that smiling teaches us to take it easy and it is so much easier to do than frowning. And smiling is contagious, and smiling teaches us to take it easy, not to take ourselves to seriously. Fr. Andrew had said so much more, this is all I was able to get down on paper for this session.
The third session was titled " What does it mean to be happy in the Lord?" given by Fr. Andrew Apostoli, I had heard him earlier in the morning, so I was excited about this class. Fr. Andrew opened up by sharing the differences between pleasure and joy. He stated that pleasure is never filled, and it is temporary because we will still feel empty at the end. Joy is rooted in the soul, so it is all fullfilling. The cool thing about joy is that, it is rooted in the soul, but then overflows into our whole being, probably as we get older and older,by the grace and love of God. So Fr. asked the question, how can we remain in this joy? Talk about "cross" in life, especially considering that we are our own worst enemies at times. How crazy is that? I guess if it is a joyful crazy, then at least we can laugh about it later.
Fr. Andrew also gave us a list of what the enemies of joy, they are selfishness, escape, worry/fear, and self pity.
The first being selfishness, by being selfish we are doomed to be unhappy. We are unhappy because we turn to ourselves to make us happy which then will lead us to be let down, because only God and keep us up from ourselves. Eventually we will realize that we need to empty, by being humbled in humility, a hard cross for us to take but so necessary, why? So we can grow into a selfless love of Jesus, hence we tap into the fount of joy in Him instead of routinely tapping into ourselves which only leads to disappointment. We must forget ourselves, see the broader picture and trust in that. Then we can give of ourselves and share and play nicely with others.
While carrying our crosses, in our trials, in our sadness, we can not turn to ourselves and think we can make it better. We must turn to Christ, this is the only way we can, we can little by little, break down our selfishness and become selfless. We then can learn and to trust in our Lord, and we will attain joy and that inner peace that is so vital/crucial in our growth in the Lord. The devil likes to take away our joy, because then, we become consumed by our crosses and we will start to find escapes that fill our pleasures but will still leave us empty, stuck or addicted to things not of God. The devil loves to play on this in us, because in "escaping" we are usually either Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, the "HALT" that is taught in AA. Fr. stated when we are "halted" we are or end up being stuck and sad, which can be a real battle if we do not have our Lord to save us. The gentleness of joy that Jesus gives, will draw us out of our depression or repression of all of our sins and crosses, we just have to be open and to trust in Him by continually going to Him all of the time, He will love us through it all.
The final thing Fr. Andrew mentioned that is an enemy to joy is worry/fear. How things are going to turn out, is pretty much useless. Why? because we have no control to what has happened, what is happening or what will happen. Trust is the antidote to battle worry and fear, to trust in the strong arm of God no matter what. He quoted Padre Pio as he would always say, " Pray, Trust and Don't Worry". I thought of the song, "Don't worry, Be Happy" I love that song. Fr. Andrew, mentioned that when we worry, it is for nothing, because we have control over the situation, but we can control how we respond to things that we don't know how they will turn out. Our response should be JESUS CHRIST, that is our only response/reaction we should take, He will not let us down.
Self pity is another enemy of joy. Feeling sorry for ourselves and keeping the wounds fresh. By feeling sorry for ourselves, we tend to keep our hurtness alive, by re-living it, by re-playing it in our minds. We reherse all of the injustices over and over, its a vicious cycle that has no end because it is rooted in ourselves and not in Christ. Once we start to see this cycle and try to break it, we break into the Love and the tender joy of Jesus. This in itself, will bring us to grips with the situation, which then can lead to a permante cancellation to all of the "pity parties" we used to love to throw for ourselves. The party becomes a feast, a feast and banquet we can partake in every time we go to mass, and receive our Lord in body and blood. By partaking in the feast, that is the fuel we need to keep cancelling the "pity party" The Eucharist is the only place where unconditional love is tangible and present for us to commune with, no matter where we are in our lives, Jesus will see us through.
Saturday morning, I heard a great talk given by Sr. Nancy Kellar on the Beatitudes. She said the Beatitudes is God's plan for happiness, they are to stir up our expectance in the power of the Spirit and all of the great plans God has for us. We always need to want, to desire, to long for more in Christ. In reflection of this talk, a question came to my mind in, how do we find our joy in the Beatitudes?
1. Poor in Spirit: Sr. says this is a call to acknowledge our need of God and to recognize our need of God. For me, as I pondered, I found some joy in the fact that I will not need anything else but God. No matter how it gets broken down, it ALWAYS goes right back to The Infinite One. It sounds or reads so simple. Our God is a simple God in infinite ways. We are the ones that complicate or confuse His simplicites, no worries though because He will always Love us back to Him. After all of the reasoning, justifications, mistakes all of this stuff that happens on earth, I will always and forever need the Almighty God that is just the way it is. I am so glad He is infinite because human are just too temporal.
She used the analogy of opening our hands, letting the seeds fall to the ground, so He can heal us, and then we can be filled. I wonder if that the "opening of the hands" is our acknowledging it is out of our hands in the first place (whatever the situation may be), the "letting the seeds fall as they may" is the acceptance that is vital to the "emptying process", and the "so He can heal us" is the restoration in Christ, in the recovery of Love for Love, unconditional in the heart of God.
2. Mourn: to mourn our losses, our disappointment, our dissatisfactions, our difficulties in relationships. This helps us learn to accept forgiveness by crying our to God in our losses, to find Him in it and to hold onto to Him while we are there with it. Joy is the end result of the process, after a long, hard, sorrowful and mournful journey. The joy/acceptance on this type of loss, to me naievely is like all of these things seen or passed by on the road to recovery, like a "recovery road trip". Like the rest stops, gas stations, the scenic view points, like the cool colors of the sky at sunrise of the dry desert followed by the heat of high noon, to the plush green mountain sides, to the majestic colors in the sky of sunset at the beach, the u-turns we should have taken miles back but didn't. But in the stops the rest that can be had, the fuel for the empty tank, the vistas showing us really how small we really are, all of these things, the little things, that are there on the way to where we need to go. The destination is healing/ acceptance/freedom/joy. Now this journey is very customized to each person in regards to timing, but in the mercy, grace and love of God, the Father does loves us right back to his big heart, then we are joyfully free.
3. Meekness: This is God's will for us, to find our happiness and peace in God. Embracing God even when God's will is hard to go through. To embrace where God wants us to be, not where we want to be. To take repeated comfort in the fact we do not know it all because its just too much for any of us to know. People try to figure it out, whatever it is, and well for me its easier to leave all of that stuff up to the "Big Guy", He does take care of everything. So in the timing of it all, not knowing why things happen, we can find some joy in that by being thankful, very thankful that things have happened the way it has, because that is exactly how God wanted it, the Father always knows best, He always knows what is best for His people. If it would have been left up to us, we would have just made a huge mess of everything.
The timing of it all, the saying " we are all supposed to be right were we are " referring to the "master plan" or God's will, yet sometimes the timing really sucks, or so we ignorantly think and feel. But God's timing is always perfect, it just takes time for us to accept God's timing. God's perfect and unconditonal Love, THIS LOVE, is what rescues us , rehabilitates us, picks us up, sees us through all of those sucky days we think we have, just like how God did to our ancestors of the past, He sees us right back to Love, that crazy little thing called Love. We get by, day by day, one day at a time, one hour at a time, 15 minutes at a time. We may or may not see the depth, the extent, the extremity, the sensitivity, the whole picture at the time, but we keep trying, we keep moving toward Him, toward God, beat up and all. The mysteries of Love is truly a righteous and precious thing.
4. Hunger and Thirst for what is right: Repairing our relationships in community, forgiving one another for the sake of Love. By listening to one another more. Listening leads to compassion which then deepens our relationships across the board. Listening helps us meet people where they are at in their lives, and by helping them out wherever they are, helping them to Jesus, the way, the truth and the light. In Him, is where our strength is, in our faith in God, and we want all of our family in Christ to know the Lord. Our family being our human family, whom Christ died for on that cross wether they acknowledge it or not, Jesus loves them too. Taking things to heart, meaning things from the heart. Listening to the "interventions" how we learn from each other and to see the errors of our ways, be o.k with that, and from the heart try to change, again much easier said than done, hence the power and Love of God.
5. Merciful: Mercy received as we come in our weakness and sinfulness. We have unfathomable mercy in the cross and in the heart of our Lord Jesus. The cross is our unfathomable source of mercy, there is no shock value with God, His Love and mercy is what we need to get over the shock of life and how we deal with all of this shock treatment, that we inflict or incur in this life of ours.
6.Pure of heart: How God purifies us, the purification process. Purification is how God want to meet us, we can become bitter or better by how we embrace our purifications that come our way, how we embrace all of the peaks and valleys we experience in this life of ours. We need the ups and downs to experience and to learn from as we get older and more seasoned in life. Day in and day out. All of the good and bad days we have. All of the little things that helps us get through the day, all that is of God. To be able to see some of those things everyday, we can get glimpses of joy.
7. Peacemakers: My favorite one as a little girl, I remember wanting to be a child of God, I remember thinking that would be so cool, so I tried to be a peacemaker. It was hard then and still hard now, but with practice it does become easier. And I must admit, I had a great example of peacemaking in my dad, Harry Makahanohano Kaululaau. My dad was all about keeping the peace, not just in the house or between the kids or between him and my mom, but by everything. At first it used to look like people would take advantage of him because he was so easy going, but you know it never seemed to bother him, because there was peace, and that made him happy, which then made everything else seem so trivial. I still to this day aspire to be the peacemaking soul that man is, I just really thank God that he gave me such an incredible and humble father that I have in my dad. Thank you so much my Lord.
8. Suffer persecution for our Lord: Talk about examples and inspirations to live by, I will be forever grateful and humbled for all of the saints, angels, and religious that have lived and given their lives to the Lord our God for the salvation of souls. To know that we have Mother Church, The bible, The carrying of crosses, The living Body of Christ, from generation to generation. Each on of us, his people. How happy we should feel to have been with a family so deep in faith, so rich in the depth of life after death as we all have in my Lord Christ Jesus will all of his angels and saints in Heaven. To know, believe we are on in the Glorious and victorious Love of our God. Glory be to the Father, to the Son and to the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Lastly, what gave me personally the greatest joy of the whole conference, besides My Lord of course was all of the people I was able to share with. I went with my friend Demetria, then we hooked up with Bob, which then dialed us in with Alex, Yolanda and Lucy. It was too cool to how our Lord just put it all together, don't get me wrong everybody we met or saw there was awesome, it was just good to fellowship in an environment such as this, and by far, this was the best SCRC a girl like myself could have hoped for. So I just want to say a big Thank you to Demetria, Bob, Alex, Yolanda and Lucy for spending the weekend with me. Thanks guys. Thank you Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Amen.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Docile Bi-Polarity...do I need a perscription for that
Man oh man, what a deep meeting we had on Monday (7/6/09), our new meeting room is very cool and roomy, and what a way to start our new discipleship chapter, with such depth. I have to be honest, it was one of the heaviest meetings for me personally I have had in a long time. We spoke about how much Jesus loves us, each and every one of us; we were reading from a book titled, "I believe in Love". I must admit I left with a very heavy heart. There were a few people crying, including myself, in the room as we were reading, some were so moved they couldn't even read. Jesus drew it out of us, with assistance from our own Fr. Paul of course.
When it really hit me, was on the way home. I left the meeting as soon as we finished our ending prayer, and I just had to get out of there. I felt burnt out. I felt clogged up somewhere in my heart, its like I know that Jesus loves me, I thank him for all of the blessings he pours down on me all the time, but at the same time, I felt ashamed and just a huge spoiled and unappreciative wretch, undeserving of such a patient unconditional love, feeling very bi-polar, for lack of a better term.
For me, its the knowing part that Jesus loves me, I trust in that, I believe in that, or so I thought/felt. But as we were sharing in the group, it was Fr. Paul and the book explained that Jesus loves us unbelievably more than we could ever think or ever feel. Well, it honestly just made me feel horrible. Why was I feeling of extremes of worthiness in the eyes of God and unworthiness in the eyes of myself. I kept thinking its because, Jesus loves me unfathomably and unconditionally and all I can offer is my unbelievably selfish self, I felt wretched. Especially because, of all that He has blessed me with.
I tried to reason it out like this, all of these blessings I get everyday, well that is just enough love for me, but to love me more than that,,,,,,,,,,, it just seems so wrong on my part,,,,,,,, not on Jesus' part of course, and I just started to cry. I really can't even say what I was crying over, but I felt really sad yet really happy; to really be loved by such a special and perfect love. Knowing deep down in my heart that this is something that could never ever be found on earth.
All of these moments of extremes thaat we have in our lives, we all do. The stuff that makes us feel bad and wasteful because deep deep down I should be doing so much more than what I am doing now. Yet still taking refuge in Jesus' love and mercy He gives 24/7. The bad part is that I see what needs to be changed, know it needs to be changed, continue to get hurt by what hasn't changed, yet still refuse to change. What a complete pstychotic moron, whom would be me, of course.
While driving home in tears, for some reason I reflected on a talk from Fr. David, he is from St. Jochim's in Costa Mesa. He spoke on docility in the spirit, very enriching talk I must say. He said he looked up the word in Websters, and it stated a definition of "easy to manage". Boy, did all of the red flags and whistles go off in my conscience. "Easy to manage" is not really how I would say I was to the Holy Spirit, especially driving on that freeway. To me this is how I was at that moment, I was really happy that Jesus loves me so much more than I know (Thank God) that was one extreme, or one side of the coin.
But at the same time, feeling horrible for how undeserving I have been blessed with. I was really going in circles, the other exteme, this bi-polarity of extremes. How is one to be docile in the extemes of life, when not feeling very manageable? Again, Fr. David had mentioned it is when we are not settled, or at times of hardship personally or communally, that is the perfect time to be docile to the spirit. At first it sounded wacky, then two weeks later as I was in tears in the car on the way home , it made some sense in a wacky way. Docility to the Holy Spirit, this is one way, we are able to live in the depths of the mystery of Love in this world.
These are the moments, according to Fr. David we should practice docility to the Spirit. Maybe it is like being docile to the surrendering of our selves, "me, myself and I" completely humbled, to the love and will of God. I am not saying this is a complete and total surrender, for me its like phases/processes in surrendering, hoping and trusting one day, I will be free. And each moment we do this we are surrendering to Jesus at all kinds of levels we have no clue about. Fr. David had said we needed to be docile to the to any level of surrender because that will keep us close to Christ, which is what our ultimate goal should always be.
It's hard to surrender to ways, thought patterns or habits that we have lived by for so long. Fr. David shared that prior to him becoming a priest, he was a fireman, he had been a fireman for 10+years. He compared smoldering of a physical fire to when we are feeling smoldered in extremes, like when we get lost in a situation we know nothing about and have no control over. We smolder in our hearts, in our minds, we fuel the "wrongness" of any situation, we get, and I quote Fr. David, "bitter or better" from the experience . So while smoldering or feeling the heat, this is a perfect time to practice, practice docility. The whole room giggled then, I'm giggling still just thinking about it.
But in thinking back at it now, doesn't that sound like something that Jesus would say, I could see Him saying that to me in the car, "Yes, you will be smoldering, personally and spiritually, but just be docile (have faith and believe) and know that I am with you." It sounds so simple and easy , yet not so easy and simple for us to do is it.
It is not impossible to do, just not easy, especialy in the times when we have to deal with the burns we cause and the burns we obtain. Not letting the burn scars prohibit us from becoming closer to Jesus Christ, in His union of Love that He has for each and every one of us. We just have to be docile/mangageable enough to let Jesus be our friend,and for Him to deepen our own relationship with Him. Jesus has, Jesus does and Jesus will always help us with the smoldery days that goes on outside and inside ourselves. But when that happens, the smoldering can make us either "bitter or better." These are the two choices we have within our free will, living in this bi-polar society. When we learn to see HOW we are, when we getting deepend, and wanting to get better in Christ, not bitter at Christ, especially in the maintenance, of the gardens of our soul when it is being tended to by our gardeners, The Holy Trinity.
Its funny because it sounds so bi-polar, and felt so so bi-polar, wretchedness and happiness in one moment. Oh, those depths of love.....as I sit here typing and pondering, I sure am glad that I will never understand the unfathomable depths of the love of God. No, I will never understand the love Jesus has for me, but I will try everyday to be forever grateful. Yes, I need to re-do facets of my life so that I may love Him more, serve Him more. But for right now, I am going to take Fr. Paul's advice, and just offer to God his own heart back to Him. That is all I can offer, I honestly don't really understand what that all entails, and probably better off that way really. I just have to keep offering Jesus' heart to the Father in the most docile way I know how, sincerely and happily. And let the rest take care of itself, just the way God designed us all to. God Bless to you all. Amen.
When it really hit me, was on the way home. I left the meeting as soon as we finished our ending prayer, and I just had to get out of there. I felt burnt out. I felt clogged up somewhere in my heart, its like I know that Jesus loves me, I thank him for all of the blessings he pours down on me all the time, but at the same time, I felt ashamed and just a huge spoiled and unappreciative wretch, undeserving of such a patient unconditional love, feeling very bi-polar, for lack of a better term.
For me, its the knowing part that Jesus loves me, I trust in that, I believe in that, or so I thought/felt. But as we were sharing in the group, it was Fr. Paul and the book explained that Jesus loves us unbelievably more than we could ever think or ever feel. Well, it honestly just made me feel horrible. Why was I feeling of extremes of worthiness in the eyes of God and unworthiness in the eyes of myself. I kept thinking its because, Jesus loves me unfathomably and unconditionally and all I can offer is my unbelievably selfish self, I felt wretched. Especially because, of all that He has blessed me with.
I tried to reason it out like this, all of these blessings I get everyday, well that is just enough love for me, but to love me more than that,,,,,,,,,,, it just seems so wrong on my part,,,,,,,, not on Jesus' part of course, and I just started to cry. I really can't even say what I was crying over, but I felt really sad yet really happy; to really be loved by such a special and perfect love. Knowing deep down in my heart that this is something that could never ever be found on earth.
All of these moments of extremes thaat we have in our lives, we all do. The stuff that makes us feel bad and wasteful because deep deep down I should be doing so much more than what I am doing now. Yet still taking refuge in Jesus' love and mercy He gives 24/7. The bad part is that I see what needs to be changed, know it needs to be changed, continue to get hurt by what hasn't changed, yet still refuse to change. What a complete pstychotic moron, whom would be me, of course.
While driving home in tears, for some reason I reflected on a talk from Fr. David, he is from St. Jochim's in Costa Mesa. He spoke on docility in the spirit, very enriching talk I must say. He said he looked up the word in Websters, and it stated a definition of "easy to manage". Boy, did all of the red flags and whistles go off in my conscience. "Easy to manage" is not really how I would say I was to the Holy Spirit, especially driving on that freeway. To me this is how I was at that moment, I was really happy that Jesus loves me so much more than I know (Thank God) that was one extreme, or one side of the coin.
But at the same time, feeling horrible for how undeserving I have been blessed with. I was really going in circles, the other exteme, this bi-polarity of extremes. How is one to be docile in the extemes of life, when not feeling very manageable? Again, Fr. David had mentioned it is when we are not settled, or at times of hardship personally or communally, that is the perfect time to be docile to the spirit. At first it sounded wacky, then two weeks later as I was in tears in the car on the way home , it made some sense in a wacky way. Docility to the Holy Spirit, this is one way, we are able to live in the depths of the mystery of Love in this world.
These are the moments, according to Fr. David we should practice docility to the Spirit. Maybe it is like being docile to the surrendering of our selves, "me, myself and I" completely humbled, to the love and will of God. I am not saying this is a complete and total surrender, for me its like phases/processes in surrendering, hoping and trusting one day, I will be free. And each moment we do this we are surrendering to Jesus at all kinds of levels we have no clue about. Fr. David had said we needed to be docile to the to any level of surrender because that will keep us close to Christ, which is what our ultimate goal should always be.
It's hard to surrender to ways, thought patterns or habits that we have lived by for so long. Fr. David shared that prior to him becoming a priest, he was a fireman, he had been a fireman for 10+years. He compared smoldering of a physical fire to when we are feeling smoldered in extremes, like when we get lost in a situation we know nothing about and have no control over. We smolder in our hearts, in our minds, we fuel the "wrongness" of any situation, we get, and I quote Fr. David, "bitter or better" from the experience . So while smoldering or feeling the heat, this is a perfect time to practice, practice docility. The whole room giggled then, I'm giggling still just thinking about it.
But in thinking back at it now, doesn't that sound like something that Jesus would say, I could see Him saying that to me in the car, "Yes, you will be smoldering, personally and spiritually, but just be docile (have faith and believe) and know that I am with you." It sounds so simple and easy , yet not so easy and simple for us to do is it.
It is not impossible to do, just not easy, especialy in the times when we have to deal with the burns we cause and the burns we obtain. Not letting the burn scars prohibit us from becoming closer to Jesus Christ, in His union of Love that He has for each and every one of us. We just have to be docile/mangageable enough to let Jesus be our friend,and for Him to deepen our own relationship with Him. Jesus has, Jesus does and Jesus will always help us with the smoldery days that goes on outside and inside ourselves. But when that happens, the smoldering can make us either "bitter or better." These are the two choices we have within our free will, living in this bi-polar society. When we learn to see HOW we are, when we getting deepend, and wanting to get better in Christ, not bitter at Christ, especially in the maintenance, of the gardens of our soul when it is being tended to by our gardeners, The Holy Trinity.
Its funny because it sounds so bi-polar, and felt so so bi-polar, wretchedness and happiness in one moment. Oh, those depths of love.....as I sit here typing and pondering, I sure am glad that I will never understand the unfathomable depths of the love of God. No, I will never understand the love Jesus has for me, but I will try everyday to be forever grateful. Yes, I need to re-do facets of my life so that I may love Him more, serve Him more. But for right now, I am going to take Fr. Paul's advice, and just offer to God his own heart back to Him. That is all I can offer, I honestly don't really understand what that all entails, and probably better off that way really. I just have to keep offering Jesus' heart to the Father in the most docile way I know how, sincerely and happily. And let the rest take care of itself, just the way God designed us all to. God Bless to you all. Amen.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Jesus so forgave us we must forgive, it is as simple as that
St Francis of Assisi says,"It is in pardoning that we are pardoned, In giving of ourselves that we receive...." Remembering that we have had so many second chances in our lives with Jesus, God and the Holy Spirit, when we REALLY never deserved it in the first place. This should be enough of a reason to want to give chances to everybody and for anything, but when the time comes, it depends on what side of the coin we are on, the giver or the receiver, this determines how easy it is to do. It sounds horrible, but it is very human.
Second chances, reconciliation, forgiveness, expiation, redemption, and pardoning all difficult to do, yet so needed in our society today and mostly within ourselves. Even in the name "second chances" there really isn't just two, its bascially a lifetimes worth, which thank God we get. As humans, we were given the ultimate second chance in Jesus, He gives us the second chance into union with God. There is no other way. Jesus is our perfect second chance to God because of the unfathomable wickedness of sin that we deal with in our world today. God is the unconditional second chance giver, he proved that by sending His son to die for our sins.
It is sometimes hard to "give" the chance because: of our own egoness, stuborness, pride because we have to say sorry, not wanting to say sorry because my way is the right way. What makes it even harder, is when you really were right, but still have to "keep the peace, keep quiet" It reminds me when Christ Jesus told St. Faustina about the graces he won for us as he had to be silent when standing in front of Pilate. I must keep remembering this stuff, because that's what he died for and why I need to forgive since I have been forgiven by the fount of forgiveness himself, Jesus Christ.
One reason for why it is hard to "give" for me is because of what has happened.
The problem with that is, as time passes, the incident becomes more of a moot point. It becomes trivial because so much time has passed by. Disagreements can go on for years, two people/families that have been mad at each other, and they forget why they are mad, they just remember being mad all the time, it becomes second nature, it becomes a habitual. Sad really, yet we all have done it. What is liberating, what is freeing for any person is just to come clean. Just take the step and say sorry, take the step and call a truce, and you live by the truce and move on. It feels like a weight is lifted from your shoulders and replaced with peace. Now you don't have to worry about, we dont have to think about, we don't have to waste anymore energy on holding the grudge, which truly can be so heavy. but so light when we make it right, or at least try to. How does it become lighter/peacful? Well we are letting Christs' righteousness seap through. When we do this, we are graced with the guts to make amends, take the higher road, be the better person. Why? I feel because my heart becomes resolved. Resolved in what? Resolved in Christ. What gets resolved in Christ? The adamacy, the tension, the hurt, the defense mechanisms, and the feeling of it not being fair. I know life is not fair, but in making amends I need to be o.k with a few things to start in me, so time can heal everything else.
A second reason why its hard for me to give chances is due to the extent to which it has happened, again, another moot point. Yes at first it may feel very violating, very wrong, very not right, but really, we can not change what has happened because it is already done. This for me is a very time consuming/distracting, draining, and imprisoning phase for me, because I stay stuck in chains. For me, those are the reasons why I get stuck, stay stuck everytime I need to forgive and don't. So all of this time, in the "now", all of this energy is just for aggrevation, frustration and anxiety. Stress for ourselves and for anyone else who cares, who listens, because misery/negativity loves company it keeps itself fueled that way. This brings up another thought, isn't it funny how our tolerance levels vary so much from person to person. For some reason it is easier to swallow my pride for some people and then it feels like swallowing nails for the other. I need to remember it was nails that held my Christ up on that cross, so I really needn't complain. I know, it is just really hard to live like that. Why is that? How are pride has such a hold on me. The enemy keeps his hold/grasp on us, in these realms, it keeps me in bondage. "Why should I forgive, I wasn't wrong in the first place?" These stubborn question we ask ourselves, and here's the answer I keep getting,,,, well let's see, the extent Jesus took it to, the nailing of himself onto a cross for forgiveness. That's what I need to know and remember and love and to imitate. Jesus is why we should and Jesus is why we do.
Another obstacle of mine is how many times it has happened. The sad fact, is that is it still going to happen again. People don't change quickly, some people never change at all. So even though we change, we see our ways, and try to change them and make them better does not mean others will. But when it happens again, it becomes a little easier to deal with and get over. This is where it becomes tricky, this is how I humbly see it, we get into a skirimish, we are mad , time goes by, we have a chance to get free by the grace of God through forgiveness, then we can be free, we move on. The other person/party it may not be that easy. it is not their fault. Jesus died for everybody and everything. He is the only judge, nobody or nothing else is. By not forgiving or letting it go, we keep the wound fresh and open with our left hand and then I have the nerve to ask the right hand when is this wound going to scab and go away? How insane is that? I do this....truly.People are people, they can not change over night, unless it be the will of God of course, but we are people that act the way we act for a long time, and some habits are hard to break. I can appreciate that. But when "it hits the fan again", and it will, it becomes a little easier to do" the getting over it part" That's when I try to realize and re-realize again, that Jesus had to be the one doing all of the letting go for us during that terrible sacraficial Friday, then our situations becomes very tiny next to that. I have found it is also an opportunity we have to offer something back to God, for loving us so much to discipline us and mold us in our imperfections to help perfect our Love to His Son, which really we are not worthy of, yet that is all God want us to do, because that is all God does, He just loves.
To be the receiver of the chance/forgiveness is a very humbling experience. At that time, because I know I did wrong and what is really cool is that I want to make it right, make amends, to get the chance to make it right, a very humbling process to do. In my very recent personal experience this has happened to me by a collegue at work. I was really wrong and called out on it. I humbly saw the error of my ways and felt terrible about it. I asked for forgiveness and the second chance to redeem myself. He gave it. We moved on and now we are doing o.k. Thank God. The tighter the amends, the better the chance.I feel really depends on the intention or motivations we hold in our hearts because of being so humbled or feeling humilated. I think the feelings of humiliation does fade, it loses its weight in time. Yet I feel it promotes change. It stirs something in us to do better, to get back on the horse and try again. God willing, the experience will inflame the desire to make it right, with all of this practice we do here on earth, I pray and hope it will help me in my interior life with God. In all of this experience I feel helps me to always to humbly go to Him and say sorry, mean it, and try to do better, not for ourselves, but for Him and Him alone.
This all leads me to believe in second chances, and stirs in me a thing to give them more, especially when I really do not want to. But seriously, I am humbly seeing and learning how to be more open in giving them, especially condsidering recent events where I had asked for them and received them from another. Whom, I am sure had a tough time doing so, but they still did. Honestly, I was so grateful. This forgiveness stuff truly, is an insane dichotomy we all, I mean all, have to deal with. It is not nice, not fun, not easy to do, and just real hard to live by and live with. But Thank God Jesus did all ot this stuff so perfectly because of all or our imperfectness we all posess.
Maybe we aren't supposed to make amends with everybody, yet that doesn't sound right through, it sounds and feels unresolved. Especially, because its going against the second commandment, love thy neighbor as thyself, and look how much we were loved, through the sacrificial Lamb of God, for our wretched lives of sin. He so forgave us that we must forgive, it is as simple as that. St. Francis of Assisi said it beautifully, ".....and in dying that were born into Eternal Life."
Amen.
Second chances, reconciliation, forgiveness, expiation, redemption, and pardoning all difficult to do, yet so needed in our society today and mostly within ourselves. Even in the name "second chances" there really isn't just two, its bascially a lifetimes worth, which thank God we get. As humans, we were given the ultimate second chance in Jesus, He gives us the second chance into union with God. There is no other way. Jesus is our perfect second chance to God because of the unfathomable wickedness of sin that we deal with in our world today. God is the unconditional second chance giver, he proved that by sending His son to die for our sins.
It is sometimes hard to "give" the chance because: of our own egoness, stuborness, pride because we have to say sorry, not wanting to say sorry because my way is the right way. What makes it even harder, is when you really were right, but still have to "keep the peace, keep quiet" It reminds me when Christ Jesus told St. Faustina about the graces he won for us as he had to be silent when standing in front of Pilate. I must keep remembering this stuff, because that's what he died for and why I need to forgive since I have been forgiven by the fount of forgiveness himself, Jesus Christ.
One reason for why it is hard to "give" for me is because of what has happened.
The problem with that is, as time passes, the incident becomes more of a moot point. It becomes trivial because so much time has passed by. Disagreements can go on for years, two people/families that have been mad at each other, and they forget why they are mad, they just remember being mad all the time, it becomes second nature, it becomes a habitual. Sad really, yet we all have done it. What is liberating, what is freeing for any person is just to come clean. Just take the step and say sorry, take the step and call a truce, and you live by the truce and move on. It feels like a weight is lifted from your shoulders and replaced with peace. Now you don't have to worry about, we dont have to think about, we don't have to waste anymore energy on holding the grudge, which truly can be so heavy. but so light when we make it right, or at least try to. How does it become lighter/peacful? Well we are letting Christs' righteousness seap through. When we do this, we are graced with the guts to make amends, take the higher road, be the better person. Why? I feel because my heart becomes resolved. Resolved in what? Resolved in Christ. What gets resolved in Christ? The adamacy, the tension, the hurt, the defense mechanisms, and the feeling of it not being fair. I know life is not fair, but in making amends I need to be o.k with a few things to start in me, so time can heal everything else.
A second reason why its hard for me to give chances is due to the extent to which it has happened, again, another moot point. Yes at first it may feel very violating, very wrong, very not right, but really, we can not change what has happened because it is already done. This for me is a very time consuming/distracting, draining, and imprisoning phase for me, because I stay stuck in chains. For me, those are the reasons why I get stuck, stay stuck everytime I need to forgive and don't. So all of this time, in the "now", all of this energy is just for aggrevation, frustration and anxiety. Stress for ourselves and for anyone else who cares, who listens, because misery/negativity loves company it keeps itself fueled that way. This brings up another thought, isn't it funny how our tolerance levels vary so much from person to person. For some reason it is easier to swallow my pride for some people and then it feels like swallowing nails for the other. I need to remember it was nails that held my Christ up on that cross, so I really needn't complain. I know, it is just really hard to live like that. Why is that? How are pride has such a hold on me. The enemy keeps his hold/grasp on us, in these realms, it keeps me in bondage. "Why should I forgive, I wasn't wrong in the first place?" These stubborn question we ask ourselves, and here's the answer I keep getting,,,, well let's see, the extent Jesus took it to, the nailing of himself onto a cross for forgiveness. That's what I need to know and remember and love and to imitate. Jesus is why we should and Jesus is why we do.
Another obstacle of mine is how many times it has happened. The sad fact, is that is it still going to happen again. People don't change quickly, some people never change at all. So even though we change, we see our ways, and try to change them and make them better does not mean others will. But when it happens again, it becomes a little easier to deal with and get over. This is where it becomes tricky, this is how I humbly see it, we get into a skirimish, we are mad , time goes by, we have a chance to get free by the grace of God through forgiveness, then we can be free, we move on. The other person/party it may not be that easy. it is not their fault. Jesus died for everybody and everything. He is the only judge, nobody or nothing else is. By not forgiving or letting it go, we keep the wound fresh and open with our left hand and then I have the nerve to ask the right hand when is this wound going to scab and go away? How insane is that? I do this....truly.People are people, they can not change over night, unless it be the will of God of course, but we are people that act the way we act for a long time, and some habits are hard to break. I can appreciate that. But when "it hits the fan again", and it will, it becomes a little easier to do" the getting over it part" That's when I try to realize and re-realize again, that Jesus had to be the one doing all of the letting go for us during that terrible sacraficial Friday, then our situations becomes very tiny next to that. I have found it is also an opportunity we have to offer something back to God, for loving us so much to discipline us and mold us in our imperfections to help perfect our Love to His Son, which really we are not worthy of, yet that is all God want us to do, because that is all God does, He just loves.
To be the receiver of the chance/forgiveness is a very humbling experience. At that time, because I know I did wrong and what is really cool is that I want to make it right, make amends, to get the chance to make it right, a very humbling process to do. In my very recent personal experience this has happened to me by a collegue at work. I was really wrong and called out on it. I humbly saw the error of my ways and felt terrible about it. I asked for forgiveness and the second chance to redeem myself. He gave it. We moved on and now we are doing o.k. Thank God. The tighter the amends, the better the chance.I feel really depends on the intention or motivations we hold in our hearts because of being so humbled or feeling humilated. I think the feelings of humiliation does fade, it loses its weight in time. Yet I feel it promotes change. It stirs something in us to do better, to get back on the horse and try again. God willing, the experience will inflame the desire to make it right, with all of this practice we do here on earth, I pray and hope it will help me in my interior life with God. In all of this experience I feel helps me to always to humbly go to Him and say sorry, mean it, and try to do better, not for ourselves, but for Him and Him alone.
This all leads me to believe in second chances, and stirs in me a thing to give them more, especially when I really do not want to. But seriously, I am humbly seeing and learning how to be more open in giving them, especially condsidering recent events where I had asked for them and received them from another. Whom, I am sure had a tough time doing so, but they still did. Honestly, I was so grateful. This forgiveness stuff truly, is an insane dichotomy we all, I mean all, have to deal with. It is not nice, not fun, not easy to do, and just real hard to live by and live with. But Thank God Jesus did all ot this stuff so perfectly because of all or our imperfectness we all posess.
Maybe we aren't supposed to make amends with everybody, yet that doesn't sound right through, it sounds and feels unresolved. Especially, because its going against the second commandment, love thy neighbor as thyself, and look how much we were loved, through the sacrificial Lamb of God, for our wretched lives of sin. He so forgave us that we must forgive, it is as simple as that. St. Francis of Assisi said it beautifully, ".....and in dying that were born into Eternal Life."
Amen.
Monday, May 4, 2009
The morphing process of pruning...God helps us all
Tonight, at our disciplship meeting, Patrick had brought up the point of hiding, retreating, in the bush out of shame, unworthiness or the undeservingness. Fr. Paul then elaborated on the fact of it being a wound that Jesus goes into, but we have to believe and to trust in Christ. To believe in that wound, that brokeness, that grudge, that resentment, that block/obstacle of ourselves means to believe and to trust that Christ Jesus is there, and its o.k. What we trust in IS HIM, and for me personally, I place alot of my trust in the fact that Jesus is happy to be there to help us out. He does all the time anyways, this I know. I trust that he does all of this, just because He loves me, which really helps me, love Him even more. With all of this falling in and out of love that I do in my little wretched life, all of this change; in all of my doubts and fears, bottom line is that Jesus is my/our Almighty Savior and Redeemer and that is whom I place all of my trust in, and HIM ONLY.
He is "MY LORD, AND MY GOD" TOO!!! I quote St. Thomas the apostle. Him being the "Doutbting Thomas" to a very true and fearless apostle of Our Lord and Our God, by restoring our faith because we believe. Maybe that is how Jesus loves us through all of our "doubting Thomas's" in our broken wounds and inflated egos. Every time we feel our wounds, we think our wound, we pray about our wounds, we let go of our wounds, we empty ourselves of the wounds (or so we think) we re-open our wounds, if we REMAIN on the vine, IN CHRIST, IN THIS BODY AND BLOOD he mends and reseams our brokeness, our grudges, our resentements, our blocks/obstacles of ourselves INTO THE LOVE OF LIFE ITSELF.
And in experiencing that mending, on any level in any form, is truly a most gentle nurturing type of a love that gets mixed with our souls to give us a peace of mind and heart that only comes from our Lord. I have tried other ways to get this, it ALMOST WORKS....but never does in the end. All of these gentle ways to experience and learn HOW to believe and HOW to trust, all of these moments of gentle consolation of faith, we allow Jesus to work right in the wound, as a result, we will grow in faith, in belief and IN TRUTH......Whom is? Christ Jesus. What truth do we grow in? We grow in the truths of ourselves, which is ususally a very layered voyage down those deep depths, yet I find consolation that when we grow in these ways, we grow deeper IN the Lord, and IN the mending and re-seaming phases. I may be growing deeper but it may feel a tad overwhelming at that time, but the mending and re-seaming phase takes time, that's why it is a phase, we all go through in our own little ways.
I am very thankful that Love is unconditional, Love is God. Love never fails, we do. But we get back up, lick the wounds and live on. God unconditionally loves our conditions and loves them into his own, Christ Jesus.I humbly reflect on the parable of the vine and the branches, specifically on the part of John 15:2-3 "He takes away every branch that does not bear fruit, and everyone that does he prunes, so that it bears more fruit." I recently witnessed rose bushes grow through their pruning process and bloom and produce the most fragrant and richest of mix of colors, it was truly amazing, truly a marvelous and most wonderful works of the Lord Almighty. I remember seeing the rose bushes full, green, leaves healthy, branches stable and growing nicely the next day I see the rose bushes, and they were stripped down to a bare nothing, this was honestly during lent actually, and I felt sad, shocked, a little angry, I wanted to know what happened and mostly WHY such a cut down. I was told this will help the rose bush and it will be just fine.
Time passed on, and I critically watched, I wanted to see HOW fine this bush was going to be, when it was stripped to nothing when it "seemed" to be doing ok. Well, the brown thinned branches started to show green, and in its greeness/newness it re-fortified the whole, it grew. It got thicker, It got taller, It got wider, It got leafier, It got so many blooms, It is gorgeous to this very day. All that morphing right in our own backyard, all that morphing done by the grace and love of God, for us, so that we may have these joys and wonders and miracles and marvelous works for us to be happy. In the spring the bush did have stronger and beautfiul roses, just like all the other rose bushes. The new blossoms, the new leaves, the stronger branches, the stronger roots, the whole bush getting stronger and stronger with each season it its own time, to produce the best fruit possible for the Glory of Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
Maybe that's why the morphing process, the desert, the testing of gold in fire, the pruning are all processes, done in the timing of or according to the will of God. Each growth process is done in its time, and in its appropiate season, as the seasons pass on, as they do so quickly, the morphing process hurts, shocks, grounds us, humbles us, strips us, belittles us, pierces us, but not as bad or not as deep. As each pruning season comes and goes, we get stronger and stronger.Yes the wound is there, but the sting, bite, the prunimg, the value of what hurt us so,,,,, well that gets softened in the callus of experience and in the big soft heart of God. Amen.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
LUKE 24: 35-48
Hello Everybody,
The building of the foundation, for the proclamation of the Gospel to the ends of the earth. To preach the Good News!!, that our Christ Jesus is the new and everlasting covenant, and we are all saved through Him, with Him and in Him. The start of the church, by a group of men called as apostles, and as friends to Christ in person, born in sin, just as you and I,to carry on and to proclaim the salvation from sin for all, in the name of Jesus Christ, Son of God,with all of their heart, with all of their mind, with all of their person, all of their souls, for the salvation of souls, in such chaotic of times, I guess no different than any other time in history except in its timing, such a pivotal factor when discussing salvation, God only knows....lol.....sounds so cliche'...lol...
Timing, the will of God, when is enough, enough? why now? who did what? where did it all go? what happened? how come? where has the time gone? Jesus knew at the start of time what was,is,to come of our Mother Church on earth. Jesus knew what He was dying for on that cross, Jesus knew what New and Eternal Life is to come for all that are IN HIM, by his conquering of death IN his Body and Blood, Jesus knew of all the trials and tribulations the apostles were to have in their time, just as He does now, this very moment, there is no surprises with Christ, especially with his bride, the Church. The mystery, the shock value, the secrets, the lies are all on us sinful people, NOT with Christ, He knows infinately better. Jesus knows He is the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords, He IS the answer and is its fulfillment, He shall bring His bride home to her Father. That is what the Son died and rose for. REDEMPTION in UNIFICATION!!!!
We need this hope to battle all of the ignorance and sin that is in our societies today. To me, if truth is white and sin is black, then we are each just a big collage of gray. Honestly, for me when things get chaotically foggy because of all the gray, it is just a muddy mess. But in that muddy mess, I can still go to mass, receive our Lord, His Body and His Blood meshes with my body and blood all day. I know He is with me, muddy and all. I take deep refuge in that. The Body and Blood of our Lord, is what we need to always seek and find. I find it very hopeful that Jesus can not be boxed in anywhere. He grows and goes with us. We go through our lives, make our decisions, right or wrong, and the day ends. We grow up and when we look back, we can see in our darkest and most wretched of places in us, we can see and appreciate HOW THE FAITHFULNESS OF GOD PREVAILS. WHY? BECAUSE LOVE NEVER FAILS. That is why today, we are able to , 3000 years later able to take refuge in Christ to re-fortify, to re-sustain, to re-try, to re-charge, to re-do, to renew as a people of Christ here and now. And by all of this refortifying, retrying, recharging and renewal, this is how the Living Body of Christ keeps procreating and regenerating itself, in us, during the circles of our lives here on earth, thereby to the whole Body of Christ, here on earth. Thank you Jesus and Thank you Apostles.
Today 4/24/09, I was reflecting on the Gospel of Luke24:35-48, a few things came to mind. The two apostles are reflecting back to what had happened to them on their way to Emmaus, specifically in the breaking of bread. The impression of that very night at supper, the last for our King. His Body and Blood, as the new and everlasting covenant to all. The forgiveness of sins with unconditonal love.
Jesus gave us his body and blood as the Lamb of God for the salvation of all souls and unification of all. By his conception, life, death and resurrrection, Jesus knew that he is not only going to be present then, but He is present everyday of our lives, not just spiritually but physically tangible in the Eucharist. The giving and receiving of his own body and blood that He gave us back then is what is remembered and celebrated at every mass today. That is why, as Fr. Paul would say, "the mass is the source and summit" of all Christians today, it is Jesus Himself. The Eucharist is the source of life we as a people, so desperately need, to see us through each day. For our Lord to be with us, to guide us, to consume us, to see us through whatever life has to offer. To guide His lambs to serve others in the Body of Christ, every time we receive our Lord, His Body and His Blood meshes with our body and blood, a most precious and personal communion. Then, the love is shared to the Whole Body of Christ, within itself and the Church, in the name of Christ Jesus, for the salvation of souls and the promise of Eternal Life. Thank God.
In reflection again of this gospel of Luke, Jesus says, "Look at my hands and my feet, that it is I myself. Touch mea and see, b ecause a ghost does not have flesh and bones as you can see I have". In this particular part, what struck me most was the use of Jesus' words of "me, myself and I". I humbly feel, which is probably way off but, that the "me" is death, like the death we must face to ourselves each day. The "myself" is life, since Christ is Life Everlasting. The "I" is the resurrection, for if Christ had not rose from the dead, what would the point have been then, we would still be stuck in death, just as St. Paul has stated in his preachings.
Jesus was coming to them, man to man, not like He had before, but as the resurrected Son of Man and Son of God. For all, we are all our own "me, myself and I" because we our own unique and indiviual person. So in Christ Jesus, we get the strength to help us battle with, deal with, the trials and tribulations. He gives us the strength or courage to try to handle all of the" living and dying" and "dying and rising" we do to ourselves everyday. Jesus is there, He will see us and love us through the thick and thin days. I feel by doing so, He is deepening his communion with us, just as He did with the apostles back in the day.
Another thought came to mind when I read, "These are the words that I spoke to you while I was still with you, that everything written about me in the Law of Moses, and in the prophets, and in the psalms must be fulfilled. Then he opened ther minds to understand the Scriptures."(Luke 24:35-48). The Word made Flesh, in person, opening their minds to HIS TRUTHS, from TRUTH ITSELF.....WOW!!!!. All of the apostles to ingest, spread and preach to the people of the saving power of our Lord Jesus. Whom each personally lived with, walked with, experienced, and now ready to go our to the whole world. I tried, but couldn't imagine how Jesus helped/guided each of them in whatever they needed, wherever they were. It had to be craziness, in a holy way of course. I just really thank Jesus for leading them as He did, and how He still leads/guides His Church today.
Truth is freedom, truth can withstand and be stood on, truth is the rock which we take refuge in any season, truth last for all time and ages, universally seasoned and steafast for all of time. Truth is the bar we hold/base our decisions, is it right or wrong? The roots of truth is what we need to cling to, to surrender to, to free us from, or to choke on...lol...The truth roots us in the questions we face in our daily lives, all of the who's, what's, where's, when's, why's, and how comes, the shouldas, wouldas and couldas that come our way. The truth is our definintion to what is right or wrong, the black or white in ourselves.
The truth brings to light all of the "grays" we accumalate in ourselves as well. The realization of the amount of grays in my person, and how much really needs to get white can be overwhelming. But then truly, it must be soaked in the blood of the Lamb, Christ Jesus, its a good grounding for us dirty people to stay grounded in Jesus. Then it becomes not overwhelming but hopeful, I cling to the hope that one day, my robes will be, white just like the people of God. Why? because Jesus loves me, and Jesus is the Eternal Hope that was sent to redeem, make our robes white in His Blood, and save us from eternal damnation. The truth, Christ Himself, is what we hope. He is all we need, because He is not only truth, but perfect Love too. Thank God!!!
The building of the foundation, for the proclamation of the Gospel to the ends of the earth. To preach the Good News!!, that our Christ Jesus is the new and everlasting covenant, and we are all saved through Him, with Him and in Him. The start of the church, by a group of men called as apostles, and as friends to Christ in person, born in sin, just as you and I,to carry on and to proclaim the salvation from sin for all, in the name of Jesus Christ, Son of God,with all of their heart, with all of their mind, with all of their person, all of their souls, for the salvation of souls, in such chaotic of times, I guess no different than any other time in history except in its timing, such a pivotal factor when discussing salvation, God only knows....lol.....sounds so cliche'...lol...
Timing, the will of God, when is enough, enough? why now? who did what? where did it all go? what happened? how come? where has the time gone? Jesus knew at the start of time what was,is,to come of our Mother Church on earth. Jesus knew what He was dying for on that cross, Jesus knew what New and Eternal Life is to come for all that are IN HIM, by his conquering of death IN his Body and Blood, Jesus knew of all the trials and tribulations the apostles were to have in their time, just as He does now, this very moment, there is no surprises with Christ, especially with his bride, the Church. The mystery, the shock value, the secrets, the lies are all on us sinful people, NOT with Christ, He knows infinately better. Jesus knows He is the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords, He IS the answer and is its fulfillment, He shall bring His bride home to her Father. That is what the Son died and rose for. REDEMPTION in UNIFICATION!!!!
We need this hope to battle all of the ignorance and sin that is in our societies today. To me, if truth is white and sin is black, then we are each just a big collage of gray. Honestly, for me when things get chaotically foggy because of all the gray, it is just a muddy mess. But in that muddy mess, I can still go to mass, receive our Lord, His Body and His Blood meshes with my body and blood all day. I know He is with me, muddy and all. I take deep refuge in that. The Body and Blood of our Lord, is what we need to always seek and find. I find it very hopeful that Jesus can not be boxed in anywhere. He grows and goes with us. We go through our lives, make our decisions, right or wrong, and the day ends. We grow up and when we look back, we can see in our darkest and most wretched of places in us, we can see and appreciate HOW THE FAITHFULNESS OF GOD PREVAILS. WHY? BECAUSE LOVE NEVER FAILS. That is why today, we are able to , 3000 years later able to take refuge in Christ to re-fortify, to re-sustain, to re-try, to re-charge, to re-do, to renew as a people of Christ here and now. And by all of this refortifying, retrying, recharging and renewal, this is how the Living Body of Christ keeps procreating and regenerating itself, in us, during the circles of our lives here on earth, thereby to the whole Body of Christ, here on earth. Thank you Jesus and Thank you Apostles.
Today 4/24/09, I was reflecting on the Gospel of Luke24:35-48, a few things came to mind. The two apostles are reflecting back to what had happened to them on their way to Emmaus, specifically in the breaking of bread. The impression of that very night at supper, the last for our King. His Body and Blood, as the new and everlasting covenant to all. The forgiveness of sins with unconditonal love.
Jesus gave us his body and blood as the Lamb of God for the salvation of all souls and unification of all. By his conception, life, death and resurrrection, Jesus knew that he is not only going to be present then, but He is present everyday of our lives, not just spiritually but physically tangible in the Eucharist. The giving and receiving of his own body and blood that He gave us back then is what is remembered and celebrated at every mass today. That is why, as Fr. Paul would say, "the mass is the source and summit" of all Christians today, it is Jesus Himself. The Eucharist is the source of life we as a people, so desperately need, to see us through each day. For our Lord to be with us, to guide us, to consume us, to see us through whatever life has to offer. To guide His lambs to serve others in the Body of Christ, every time we receive our Lord, His Body and His Blood meshes with our body and blood, a most precious and personal communion. Then, the love is shared to the Whole Body of Christ, within itself and the Church, in the name of Christ Jesus, for the salvation of souls and the promise of Eternal Life. Thank God.
In reflection again of this gospel of Luke, Jesus says, "Look at my hands and my feet, that it is I myself. Touch mea and see, b ecause a ghost does not have flesh and bones as you can see I have". In this particular part, what struck me most was the use of Jesus' words of "me, myself and I". I humbly feel, which is probably way off but, that the "me" is death, like the death we must face to ourselves each day. The "myself" is life, since Christ is Life Everlasting. The "I" is the resurrection, for if Christ had not rose from the dead, what would the point have been then, we would still be stuck in death, just as St. Paul has stated in his preachings.
Jesus was coming to them, man to man, not like He had before, but as the resurrected Son of Man and Son of God. For all, we are all our own "me, myself and I" because we our own unique and indiviual person. So in Christ Jesus, we get the strength to help us battle with, deal with, the trials and tribulations. He gives us the strength or courage to try to handle all of the" living and dying" and "dying and rising" we do to ourselves everyday. Jesus is there, He will see us and love us through the thick and thin days. I feel by doing so, He is deepening his communion with us, just as He did with the apostles back in the day.
Another thought came to mind when I read, "These are the words that I spoke to you while I was still with you, that everything written about me in the Law of Moses, and in the prophets, and in the psalms must be fulfilled. Then he opened ther minds to understand the Scriptures."(Luke 24:35-48). The Word made Flesh, in person, opening their minds to HIS TRUTHS, from TRUTH ITSELF.....WOW!!!!. All of the apostles to ingest, spread and preach to the people of the saving power of our Lord Jesus. Whom each personally lived with, walked with, experienced, and now ready to go our to the whole world. I tried, but couldn't imagine how Jesus helped/guided each of them in whatever they needed, wherever they were. It had to be craziness, in a holy way of course. I just really thank Jesus for leading them as He did, and how He still leads/guides His Church today.
Truth is freedom, truth can withstand and be stood on, truth is the rock which we take refuge in any season, truth last for all time and ages, universally seasoned and steafast for all of time. Truth is the bar we hold/base our decisions, is it right or wrong? The roots of truth is what we need to cling to, to surrender to, to free us from, or to choke on...lol...The truth roots us in the questions we face in our daily lives, all of the who's, what's, where's, when's, why's, and how comes, the shouldas, wouldas and couldas that come our way. The truth is our definintion to what is right or wrong, the black or white in ourselves.
The truth brings to light all of the "grays" we accumalate in ourselves as well. The realization of the amount of grays in my person, and how much really needs to get white can be overwhelming. But then truly, it must be soaked in the blood of the Lamb, Christ Jesus, its a good grounding for us dirty people to stay grounded in Jesus. Then it becomes not overwhelming but hopeful, I cling to the hope that one day, my robes will be, white just like the people of God. Why? because Jesus loves me, and Jesus is the Eternal Hope that was sent to redeem, make our robes white in His Blood, and save us from eternal damnation. The truth, Christ Himself, is what we hope. He is all we need, because He is not only truth, but perfect Love too. Thank God!!!
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