Jesus so forgave us we must forgive, it is as simple as that

St Francis of Assisi says,"It is in pardoning that we are pardoned, In giving of ourselves that we receive...." Remembering that we have had so many second chances in our lives with Jesus, God and the Holy Spirit, when we REALLY never deserved it in the first place. This should be enough of a reason to want to give chances to everybody and for anything, but when the time comes, it depends on what side of the coin we are on, the giver or the receiver, this determines how easy it is to do. It sounds horrible, but it is very human.

Second chances, reconciliation, forgiveness, expiation, redemption, and pardoning all difficult to do, yet so needed in our society today and mostly within ourselves. Even in the name "second chances" there really isn't just two, its bascially a lifetimes worth, which thank God we get. As humans, we were given the ultimate second chance in Jesus, He gives us the second chance into union with God. There is no other way. Jesus is our perfect second chance to God because of the unfathomable wickedness of sin that we deal with in our world today. God is the unconditional second chance giver, he proved that by sending His son to die for our sins.

It is sometimes hard to "give" the chance because: of our own egoness, stuborness, pride because we have to say sorry, not wanting to say sorry because my way is the right way. What makes it even harder, is when you really were right, but still have to "keep the peace, keep quiet" It reminds me when Christ Jesus told St. Faustina about the graces he won for us as he had to be silent when standing in front of Pilate. I must keep remembering this stuff, because that's what he died for and why I need to forgive since I have been forgiven by the fount of forgiveness himself, Jesus Christ.

One reason for why it is hard to "give" for me is because of what has happened.
The problem with that is, as time passes, the incident becomes more of a moot point. It becomes trivial because so much time has passed by. Disagreements can go on for years, two people/families that have been mad at each other, and they forget why they are mad, they just remember being mad all the time, it becomes second nature, it becomes a habitual. Sad really, yet we all have done it. What is liberating, what is freeing for any person is just to come clean. Just take the step and say sorry, take the step and call a truce, and you live by the truce and move on. It feels like a weight is lifted from your shoulders and replaced with peace. Now you don't have to worry about, we dont have to think about, we don't have to waste anymore energy on holding the grudge, which truly can be so heavy. but so light when we make it right, or at least try to. How does it become lighter/peacful? Well we are letting Christs' righteousness seap through. When we do this, we are graced with the guts to make amends, take the higher road, be the better person. Why? I feel because my heart becomes resolved. Resolved in what? Resolved in Christ. What gets resolved in Christ? The adamacy, the tension, the hurt, the defense mechanisms, and the feeling of it not being fair. I know life is not fair, but in making amends I need to be o.k with a few things to start in me, so time can heal everything else.

A second reason why its hard for me to give chances is due to the extent to which it has happened, again, another moot point. Yes at first it may feel very violating, very wrong, very not right, but really, we can not change what has happened because it is already done. This for me is a very time consuming/distracting, draining, and imprisoning phase for me, because I stay stuck in chains. For me, those are the reasons why I get stuck, stay stuck everytime I need to forgive and don't. So all of this time, in the "now", all of this energy is just for aggrevation, frustration and anxiety. Stress for ourselves and for anyone else who cares, who listens, because misery/negativity loves company it keeps itself fueled that way. This brings up another thought, isn't it funny how our tolerance levels vary so much from person to person. For some reason it is easier to swallow my pride for some people and then it feels like swallowing nails for the other. I need to remember it was nails that held my Christ up on that cross, so I really needn't complain. I know, it is just really hard to live like that. Why is that? How are pride has such a hold on me. The enemy keeps his hold/grasp on us, in these realms, it keeps me in bondage. "Why should I forgive, I wasn't wrong in the first place?" These stubborn question we ask ourselves, and here's the answer I keep getting,,,, well let's see, the extent Jesus took it to, the nailing of himself onto a cross for forgiveness. That's what I need to know and remember and love and to imitate. Jesus is why we should and Jesus is why we do.

Another obstacle of mine is how many times it has happened. The sad fact, is that is it still going to happen again. People don't change quickly, some people never change at all. So even though we change, we see our ways, and try to change them and make them better does not mean others will. But when it happens again, it becomes a little easier to deal with and get over. This is where it becomes tricky, this is how I humbly see it, we get into a skirimish, we are mad , time goes by, we have a chance to get free by the grace of God through forgiveness, then we can be free, we move on. The other person/party it may not be that easy. it is not their fault. Jesus died for everybody and everything. He is the only judge, nobody or nothing else is. By not forgiving or letting it go, we keep the wound fresh and open with our left hand and then I have the nerve to ask the right hand when is this wound going to scab and go away? How insane is that? I do this....truly.People are people, they can not change over night, unless it be the will of God of course, but we are people that act the way we act for a long time, and some habits are hard to break. I can appreciate that. But when "it hits the fan again", and it will, it becomes a little easier to do" the getting over it part" That's when I try to realize and re-realize again, that Jesus had to be the one doing all of the letting go for us during that terrible sacraficial Friday, then our situations becomes very tiny next to that. I have found it is also an opportunity we have to offer something back to God, for loving us so much to discipline us and mold us in our imperfections to help perfect our Love to His Son, which really we are not worthy of, yet that is all God want us to do, because that is all God does, He just loves.

To be the receiver of the chance/forgiveness is a very humbling experience. At that time, because I know I did wrong and what is really cool is that I want to make it right, make amends, to get the chance to make it right, a very humbling process to do. In my very recent personal experience this has happened to me by a collegue at work. I was really wrong and called out on it. I humbly saw the error of my ways and felt terrible about it. I asked for forgiveness and the second chance to redeem myself. He gave it. We moved on and now we are doing o.k. Thank God. The tighter the amends, the better the chance.I feel really depends on the intention or motivations we hold in our hearts because of being so humbled or feeling humilated. I think the feelings of humiliation does fade, it loses its weight in time. Yet I feel it promotes change. It stirs something in us to do better, to get back on the horse and try again. God willing, the experience will inflame the desire to make it right, with all of this practice we do here on earth, I pray and hope it will help me in my interior life with God. In all of this experience I feel helps me to always to humbly go to Him and say sorry, mean it, and try to do better, not for ourselves, but for Him and Him alone.


This all leads me to believe in second chances, and stirs in me a thing to give them more, especially when I really do not want to. But seriously, I am humbly seeing and learning how to be more open in giving them, especially condsidering recent events where I had asked for them and received them from another. Whom, I am sure had a tough time doing so, but they still did. Honestly, I was so grateful. This forgiveness stuff truly, is an insane dichotomy we all, I mean all, have to deal with. It is not nice, not fun, not easy to do, and just real hard to live by and live with. But Thank God Jesus did all ot this stuff so perfectly because of all or our imperfectness we all posess.

Maybe we aren't supposed to make amends with everybody, yet that doesn't sound right through, it sounds and feels unresolved. Especially, because its going against the second commandment, love thy neighbor as thyself, and look how much we were loved, through the sacrificial Lamb of God, for our wretched lives of sin. He so forgave us that we must forgive, it is as simple as that. St. Francis of Assisi said it beautifully, ".....and in dying that were born into Eternal Life."

Amen.